15 Portuguese Tips
Here are some tips for all you portuguese students.
Well, you don’t have to be a student, but if you’re coming to the Cup, want to understand bossa nova lyrics or is just looking for cool phrases to hit on brazilian girls, these are 15 tips to make you sound less like a gringo:
Puta que o pariu! - This should be on our national flag. It literally means “whore that gave birth to it”. An american equivalent would be “Fuck me!”.
Face - You’ll sound much more natural if you ask someone’s Facebook by just saying Qual seu Face? (fay-see).
Um minutinho - Brazilians love diminutives. This means “Just a moment”, and it makes you sound polite and less formal.
Que calor da porra - “So fucking hot”, referring to the weather. An attractive person is going to be called gostoso for men and gostosa for women.
Eu não vejo novela - When someone talks about soap operas, you say “I don’t watch soap operas”.
Nossa senhora!- Literally, “Our Lady”. It’s used for almost everything, by religious and non-religious people. It’s like “Holy shit”, but not profane.
Você vem sempre aqui? - The worst pickup line ever won’t get you anywhere. “Do you come here often?”. There’s a small chance the girl finds it funny and decides to give you a chance.
Sacanagem- This is very common. Isso é sacanagem means “This is unfair/foul play/wrong”. It can also be used to describe sexual intercourse in a vulgar way, like Eu gosto de sacanagem, “I like filthy/naughty stuff”.
Funkeiro- Someone who listens to or sings brazilian funk. It sucks, by the way.
Cara, mano, velho - “Man, dude, homie”.
Piriguete - A slut, a girl who sleeps with everybody.
Maromba - Someone who cares too much about their physical looks, and goes to the gym too often. A “culture of the gym” is unfortunately common in Brazil, meaning that there are thousand of retarded fucks who can’t even spell their names but keep saying No Pain, No Gain.
Sei lá- “Whatever”, “I don’t know”.
Que sorriso lindo! - “What a beautiful smile!”. This actually works with some girls!
É foda - Foda is a vulgar word, and a favorite of angry brazilians. É foda can mean that something is either bad or good. It depends on the context. É foda isso, "This is fucked up" generally means that something is complicated or difficult. Você é foda means “You’re complicated, you don’t learn”, OR “You’re amazing, you’re awesome”. The context is up to you, but I ensure that Brazil is foda.